Get talking

Conversation Starter

Starting conversation is easy: select Who You Want to Talk To, and we’ll help you discuss these difficult topics.

 

English

WHO do you want to talk to?




Friends

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I know this is awkward, but you're the only [person/people] I can talk to about this. I was wondering what you think about birth control. Do you use it? What do you use?

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I just read that more than half of pregnancies for women in their twenties are unplanned. It definitely made me think about my own method. What do you think?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
My doctor asked me about birth control when I was at my appointment and it made me curious about which methods other people prefer. If you don't mind me asking, what do you use?

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I've been thinking about my birth control options and I was wondering what you use.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
There are lots of great methods out there, but not all of them are a good fit for everyone. After talking with my health care provider, I decided that [method] was the best option for me. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I can understand that you feel very strongly about your method of birth control, but I feel pressured and a little uncomfortable when you say that mine isn't as "good." This is what works for me, my partner, and my body, so I'd really like if you could try and respect my choice.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
No matter what you decide about birth control, I just want you to be informed. Maybe you can call the health center. They're experienced, understanding, and very easy to talk to about the risk of pregnancy and STIs. They can give you information and tips on how to be safe without compromising your beliefs. Some of them also can help with the cost.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
If you're having sex and not using birth control, you're essentially saying you're trying to have a baby. After all, 85 of 100 couples that are having sex and not using birth control get pregnant within a year. Plus, not using any protection puts you at risk for STIs. Are you really ready for that?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
Just because I’m on birth control doesn’t mean my personality or values will change and I will start sleeping around. I just want to be prepared to live my life without worrying about an unplanned pregnancy.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
My choice to use birth control is to be safe and responsible, not to be promiscuous.

Talking about anything related to sex can be embarrassing for people. Chances are, if you have questions or want to talk about something, your friends do too. Regardless of your sexual orientation, it's always a good idea to know about your birth control options – after all, most methods have benefits other than just pregnancy prevention.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I know this is awkward, but you're the only [person/people] I can talk to about this. I am mostly interested in girls, but I want to be educated about sexual health and all of the options for protection. I was wondering what you think about birth control. Do you use it? What do you use? Why do you use it?

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I just read that more than half of pregnancies for women in their 20s are unplanned. It definitely made me think: what if I do end up having sex with a guy? What do you think about birth control?"

Family

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
[Leave some brochures about your method out in the house somewhere]. I left these brochures out because I want you to know I am using birth control. I love you and I want to share this part of my life with you, so I hope you'll at least take a look and let me explain why I made this choice.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I don't like feeling like I'm sneaking around behind your back, so I'm just going to come out and say it: I'm on birth control. And it's not because I'm sleeping around. It's because I want to be safe and protected. Period.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
This is kind of a hard conversation to have with you, and believe me, I've gone over it again and again in my head. But I feel like it's important to be open with one another. I do understand your concerns with me having sex or using birth control, but I want you to trust that I am taking all the right steps to be safe and make sure it doesn't turn into something I can't handle.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
Being sexually active and using birth control has nothing to do with age, or status, or personal character. They are decisions that should be made on a case-by-case basis. In my case, I am enjoying my life and my choices. I hope that you can respect my decision, even if it is not what you'd choose for me.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I'm starting to think about all of the ways I need to prepare for college in the next couple of months. I am 100% committed to being responsible, finishing my degree and not letting anything get in the way of that. I'm not sexually active right now, but I was wondering if we could talk about what you would think of me getting started on a birth control method now, so that I am protected in case I meet anyone when I'm at school?

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I have looked into all the different methods of birth control and would like to talk with a health care provider about getting [method] before I go to school. I'm not sexually active right now, but I do not want to get pregnant while I'm in college. I've done lots of research and I think this will be a great option for me to start now.

Partners

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
These are some of the receipts for my birth control. As you can see, it's not cheap. Since birth control is really for the protection of both of us, I was wondering how you would feel about helping out to cover some the cost.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
Even though my birth control is being used in my body, we're both enjoying the benefits. I just don't feel like it's fair for me to cover the costs on my own anymore. If we split the cost, it would only be $XX each. Does that sound fair?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
We’ve talked about the fact that I want to stop using my birth control because of the hormones, but there are lots of other good options out there that we can try. Some aren’t as effective as what we use right now, but we can use a combination of them for increased protection. Let’s look at this Birth Control Method Selector together to come up with a plan we feel good about.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I’d like to stop using birth control so I can stop getting the hormones, but I know it worries you. Can you come to my next annual checkup and we can get the facts and discuss some other options with the doctor?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
You've said you don't want to use condoms anymore because sex feels better without them, but using protection is important to me to protect against both STIs and pregnancy. So if we're going to have sex, we need to do what we can to keep us healthy and prevent a pregnancy.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I know you think it feels better not to use condoms, but that little extra sensation isn't worth the risk of getting pregnant too soon or sharing an STI. Children change your whole life and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don't want to have one before we're ready.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I chose my birth control method for a lot of reasons, but I care about you and you’re the other half of this relationship. Can you tell me why you prefer another method? Maybe we can try to find some middle ground.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
This is my body and I feel like I should have ultimate say about what I use for birth control. If you don’t like my choice, tell me why and give me some alternative ideas. We can put sex on hold until we find one that we both agree on.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I know this isn’t the sexiest topic to bring up—especially now—but I want to make sure we’re being safe and using protection. If not, we’ll need to stop and pick this up another time.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
Before this goes any farther, I think we should use [birth control method].  Are you already using something? Are you okay with using condoms?

Health Care Provider

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I feel sort of uncomfortable talking to you about this, but I want to be responsible and get the right information from the right people. So I was wondering if we could talk about birth control options and which one you think might be right for me.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
When I made my appointment, I mentioned to the nurse that I wanted to talk about birth control today. Can we go over my options after my exam? Also, do you have any information I can take home to talk about with my partner?
 

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
Before I ask you my next question, I just wanted to make 100% sure that everything between us is private. I trust your advice, so I wanted to talk about birth control and hopefully get a method today, but I don't want anyone else to find out.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I know that we have the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing, but I want to talk to you about birth control and am a little uneasy doing it because you know [family member/friend]. This all stays totally between us, right?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I feel like you have the medical knowledge to help me pick a method that works for my body and my life, so I was wondering what birth control methods you might recommend. I'm curious about how effective the different methods are, any side effects, and how much they cost.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I've been doing some research about birth control methods and I think I might like to try [method 1] or [method 2]. How would you compare them and how do you think they would work for someone like me?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
From what I've heard, it seems like an IUD might be a great option for me. It's easy, effective and convenient and almost all women can use it safely. I know you have told me in the past that I'm not a good candidate for an IUD because I've never been pregnant before and because I'm young. I have several friends in the same situation and they have IUDs. Is there another reason that an IUD is not right for me?

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I am very interested in getting an IUD. I understand that you do not think this is a good method for me because I am too young and have not been pregnant before. From what I've heard, it really sounds like the best choice for me and I have several friends in my same situation who have one. So I wanted to bring it up again. Would you be willing to provide me with an IUD or refer me to another provider or health center?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I've been using [method 1] for a while now, and I understand the reasons we decided on it, but it's not really working for me. I saw an ad for [method 2] and was thinking that might be a better fit. What do you know about [method 2]?

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
[Method 1] just isn't for me. I need something that [fits better into my life, doesn't have all the side effects, my partner can't feel, is less expensive, etc.]. What can you recommend?

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I heard that birth control might be able to help with my [acne, cramps, etc.] and I wanted to get your expert opinion on if it might work for me. I'm not as much concerned about the pregnancy prevention aspects of it, but I'd like to know how hormones might ease these issues.

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
For my issues with [acne, cramps, etc.], I've heard that birth control can actually be a good solution. I want to know what you think about it.

Ease Me In (The more guarded approach):
I have some issues that I would really prefer to discuss with a [man/woman]. I noticed you have a [male, female] [nurse, assistant, other doctor in the practice] here. Can I talk to them first?

Just Give It to Me (The no-nonsense tactic):
I don't want you to be offended, but I feel really weird talking to you about this. Not because you're not a great provider, but because I really would prefer to talk it over with a [male/female]. Is there another provider you could recommend?

Building Healthy Futures:

The Campaign to Prevent Unintended Pregnancy in New York City sponsored by Planned Parenthood of New York City and partners

FOUNDING PARTNERS: Bronx District Public Health Office, NYC Dept of Health & Mental Hygiene • The Bronx Health Link • Hostos Community College • Montefiore Medical Center • Planned Parenthood® of New York City • The Women’s Housing and Economic Development Corporation (WHEDco)

Thanks to our friends at Bedsider.org and Beforeplay.org for sharing information and tools in this website